5 years, some stay the same, mostly not

Pardon me for the bad English, I'm not an English Native

It's been 5 years since I was playing Toram. Well not consecutively, there are times that I had enough and decided to retired. But then back to the game again. Mostly because I got bored with other games. But don't get me wrong, I also often feel bored playing toram since knowing its gameplay. But, the 1st time playing it, it was fun. No meta, no rush to become "the best", making mistakes in builds, and Mino & Empress is a difficult boss.

That enjoyment is related to exploring the unknown. My first 2hand build is STR-LUK, hoping that tempest can be used to farm. Not knowingly, the MP charge is a hell long. Then my mage is INT- TEC, because hoping that dropping good materials. Those mistakes were fun, not like nowadays where everyone shouts free stat reset and skills and trying to copy 100% popular YouTubers' build. But the good thing is, Rakau is clean now, no more "add me army" or +62 called it "Tuyul". But on the other hand, tuyul still exists by exploiting 330 free gacha by Asobimo, hoping to get gem run (if lucky). Or being "Isekai"-ed in the form of Bots

Exploring the unknown is difficult, yes. But I'm not like the other players who demand perfection, If I died in a battle - I died. At least I'm learning the pattern, or knowing the difficulty. I don't care about the rank, how many times I died or kill the monster. It is the enjoyment, the feeling of failing, the feeling of succeeding in conquering a difficult boss. Those attributes are still in me today. Do you know where I level up from 192 - 197? Venena 2 Normal. By Party? yes, party with Sololo and merc. Did I die? yes often. Did I feel bad? No, because it was fun because of killing the difficult boss with humility and tasting defeat.

My first level cap, I still remember those feelings. It was such an accomplishment and I thought that I had become powerful. But it turns out I didn't become powerful. My friend sarcastically said, "why so weak, why so weak!!". Yeah just like Uncle Roger

Then I realize, it's all about the equipment. I don't have slotted gears, and only have crappy stat equipment with +C refinement. Fyi, the refinement was done by my friend. I don't know the system or was afraid of refinement that day. So getting +C is lucky I guess. Not like today, where to achieve +C or sometimes +B, I never use Orichalcum. Then I began the quest hunting slotted gear with +C refinement. My char is 2hand btw, up till now. Was it fun? yes. I'm doing business by selling NC, Nicked blade, making revita, then bought 1 slot +C weapon. It was pricey back then, around 1.5 Mill I guess

But now, farming is very demanding. No Proc, 1 Hit, high level, must Mage, Vortex or HB LUK char with pressing the button nonstop. If you need to take a pee-pee, then you will be kicked. If you got lost finding the area, then you will be kicked. If you died or DC, then you will be kicked. It has so many prerequisites, it's like demanding perfection. It's like a job you know. My friend told me that he farms BWing, 7-10 hours a day, to achieve 4 Mill per day. Yes, I understand the excitement, the fun doing that, but demanding perfection to other players for no competitive or professional reason is a form of psychological disorder. You are one step to become a heavy perfectionist, and ignoring logic and empathy. Logic and Empathy is what makes us human. Yes, there are pros and cons about this, but with enough reasoning, empathy, we can choose the right behavior without provoking or demand other players to become like us. So in the end, farming becomes a provoking and stressful activity. Sometimes this makes me laugh so hard. What do I do if experiencing like this? I farm solo. Yeah, I want to enjoy my time farming. The drop rate will be less, but at least I can smile while playing Toram. I don't want to bring pressure to myself, and other players.

Lastly, for me, it is okay to make mistakes. From it, we learn. Mistakes can lead to frustration, anger. But also new opportunities to explore. Do all my builds perfect? Nope. Do I follow the YouTubers? Nope. I delete my 2hand char more than 5 times before finding the right one. Does it mean you'll get attacker rank? No, but I enjoy it. I can do Solo leveling in demonic eye, or Venena 2 normal (although always died XD). That's fine by me. One lesson that I learn, please don't make perfection takes your fun away. Games are created to bring the fun element, if the fun aspect was taken away, so what will it be?

That's all from me, stay safe everyone.